Saturday, December 16, 2006
♥ 10:25 PM
To read or notto read is up to YOU..
The heart feels tight because of my cough or isit because of you??? The cough is worsening....This is like the 2nd time i'm sick within 1 mth and is bloody cough again....Everytime i try to sleep...I'll spend most of the time lying in bed coughing my lungs out...WTH....Maybe i got TB or some shit...I need to stop this coughing shit!!!!! If not i'm totally derive of my SLEEP!!!! And i guess at this rate my illness won't get any better....
As i type the herat feel even tighter....I feel my face hot and flushed...I feel all the blood rushing to the head.... Is it me or you??? Maybe is me...But why does the heart and mind keeps telling me it's you??? it shd be you then... I thought nothing stands between us.... I thought we're soulmates... I thought we've no secrets... But all was crushed by what you said yesterday... Now i realise it's all my naive thinking all along.... I seriously believe everything you said....I was VERY happy whenever you siad that... But now i realise it's not that way.... It was all along a 1-sided thing.... The herat continues to sink and ache and tighten... Maybe i can heal myself by pushing all the blame to me....Maybe i shd do that.... I can't even breathe properly now......
Your doubts in me ar as worthy as the desolate vaccum in space.... What a nice description of what trust...family means to me...I guess it means nothing to me now....Do not tell me nothing bad is happening....Tell me what you doing instead....
Evrythime something like this happens you leave me all alone....Don't you understand a gal at all??? You've to pacify her even if it's her wrong...(Though i do not think it's mone now...) I've told you that countless of times.But i guess you neba get anything i said into your head....You've to be flexible when it comes to deaing with your gf...You do not get strong headed with her...It'll do you no good....I never knew what you're doing...when you're out...What is everything....Guessing and waiting is what i've been give...tears flowing as the thing is being typed....Hope you know the feeling of being told "You do not need to know...Just know that it's sth you promise ppl you cant say and you won't say...." I'm not a praparrazi.... Thanks...
Tomorrow is my D&D...Should be feeling quite happy and excited...But yet i don't understand why I'm not..I was yearning for you to see all the beautifully done up me..But i guess there won't be a chance...Photos will still be taken..You'll still see it if things goes well again....
